someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
