I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
