Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
