turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
