I feel like abortions should bother me more
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
