All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
