sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
