I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
