My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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