I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We had to coat check the pizza.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
