His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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