she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i think im in europe. pls send help
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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