I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
