My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
