is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
