There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
