Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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