she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
