i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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