Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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