saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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