yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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