he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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