Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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