I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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