I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
