is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
