shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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