Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
