Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No subtext here. People are naked.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
