I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
