Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
