i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize