So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
