I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize