You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
