dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
