That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
