You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
