hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
