I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
