Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just forgot I was standing up.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
