We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
