when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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