Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize