is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Your cock deserves a montage
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
