im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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