weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
