Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
