I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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