I like my sex mixed with concussions.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize