Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
