we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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