Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We talked him into tasing himself.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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