walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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