OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
