I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
50% drunk capacity currently
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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