I'm drive I can fine osifer
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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