i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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