I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
